In the hair tonight

Or, how to get TV reception in Australia, part 2.
I now have my “remote and rural” antenna. This huge 12 feet long bendy monster can, apparently, pick up the slightest whisper in the air and turn it into clear precise picture. What it isn’t, however, is complete.

Thankfully it was very cheap, and comes in pleasant shades of blue and orange. Cheap, because it came out of the back of a skip, and was recycled on the notice board at work. I was delighted, until I tried to get it into the car.
As always, you can lead a gift horse to water but you can't look him in the mouth.
 After about half an hour of swearing, I bent the arms in, and poked the nose through the drivers window, running over the top of my hair. I then preceded to get some very interesting looks from drivers as I went up the M2, giving everyone the impression that I was just driving in the same general direction as half a ton of aluminium, but it had nothing whatsoever to do with me.
After a fair amount of amateur blacksmithery, hammering the various arms straight again, it works a charm, and can even pick up this quaint VHF stuff, despite the coming down like gangbusters.
It will however lurk out of sight in case it scares the horses, and causes passing aircraft to be diverted. I know the sight of such a vast aerial array scares me.
Still, I can now receive the ABC, and in the ensuing celebration, the beer flowed like wine.