There is a vast pile of furniture piling up in one of the back offices, with desk upon desk, and yet more desks on top of that. Its jolly decent of the guys who flogged this place to leave all their junk behind – but a right pain it is too, getting rid of it.
This Formica has been hewn from the hills of Tuscany, carefully moulded, and then finely chiselled by the best craftsmen known to New South Wales who’ve added shelf units at just the right height to smack you in the forehead, and vanity units in really inconvenient places around odd corners. Oh, and then some pillock has not only built the office walls around it, but put the skirting board in place so you can’t remove the desk, and then to add insanity to injury, painted around the whole thing, and even left the masking tape in place.
I should of course have planned carefully, and since this is the time to “Remember, remember the fifth of November”, gunpowder, treason, and plotting how to move very large pieces of furniture from one room to another, just chopped up the desks, built a large bonfire, and be done with it. After all it is of course one of the most important nights of the year for annual celebrations, Bonfire Night. Sadly, this is one of the many things that is banned in Australia. Apparently it is a safety hazard.
So, with nothing else to do, I’ll have to chop them up for logs, and burn them in the grate. Desks burn really well in winter.
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