There are many things you can’t buy in Australia that you can buy in more enlightened countries. Chocolate digestives for example. Unpasteurised cheese. Door bolts.
Yep, I kid you not, Door Bolts have bought the dust. They are unobtainable in Australia. Oh, sure, you can buy little flimsy brass things that bend at the first sign of movement. But not the good solid, slide the bolt home with a solid foot of iron keeping out intruders from your castle. And why not? Because they are illegal, that’s why.
I’ve spent weeks going into every hardware shop known to man – or at least the Sydney Basin – and I’ve found nothing resembling the good old fashioned barrel bolt favoured by the Victorians and sold in their million ever since. Eventually the friendly chap in the Baulkham Hills ironmongers told me. Oh, you can’t buy those nowadays. Highly dangerous they are. What... a door bolt? Yep... the fire brigade banned the sale of them because, in the event of a fire, they need to be able to kick your door in. But hang on – think about it – doesn’t that mean that anyone can kick my door in? Thugs, thieves, milkmen, passing small children?
And now something at the back of what remains of my mind, springs to the fore. When I had the 2 – two! – surveys done on this heap of matchwood, both spent pretty much a page listing the faults of the bathroom door, and how:
The toilet area is restrictive and the door swings inwards. In case of an emergency, the door cannot be readily removed from the outside. Recommend that a new door with a BCA catch and lift off hinges be installed to the door to comply with the current BCA standards...
Whoa! So I’ve got to replace the lovely old Victoria door, and put on one of these flimsy Australian bend-in-a-breeze type door handles, to satisfy the fire brigade? And then leave the wobbly front door with a catch that will scarcely lock at the best of times.
Or, in a moment of pique, wish that I'd emigrated with some, then decide that there's no use locking the stable door after the chooks have burnt down, and order a dozen normal door bolts from B&Q in the UK via Mail Order. Purely for decoration you understand.
Yep, I kid you not, Door Bolts have bought the dust. They are unobtainable in Australia. Oh, sure, you can buy little flimsy brass things that bend at the first sign of movement. But not the good solid, slide the bolt home with a solid foot of iron keeping out intruders from your castle. And why not? Because they are illegal, that’s why.
I’ve spent weeks going into every hardware shop known to man – or at least the Sydney Basin – and I’ve found nothing resembling the good old fashioned barrel bolt favoured by the Victorians and sold in their million ever since. Eventually the friendly chap in the Baulkham Hills ironmongers told me. Oh, you can’t buy those nowadays. Highly dangerous they are. What... a door bolt? Yep... the fire brigade banned the sale of them because, in the event of a fire, they need to be able to kick your door in. But hang on – think about it – doesn’t that mean that anyone can kick my door in? Thugs, thieves, milkmen, passing small children?
And now something at the back of what remains of my mind, springs to the fore. When I had the 2 – two! – surveys done on this heap of matchwood, both spent pretty much a page listing the faults of the bathroom door, and how:
The toilet area is restrictive and the door swings inwards. In case of an emergency, the door cannot be readily removed from the outside. Recommend that a new door with a BCA catch and lift off hinges be installed to the door to comply with the current BCA standards...
Whoa! So I’ve got to replace the lovely old Victoria door, and put on one of these flimsy Australian bend-in-a-breeze type door handles, to satisfy the fire brigade? And then leave the wobbly front door with a catch that will scarcely lock at the best of times.
Or, in a moment of pique, wish that I'd emigrated with some, then decide that there's no use locking the stable door after the chooks have burnt down, and order a dozen normal door bolts from B&Q in the UK via Mail Order. Purely for decoration you understand.
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