A Thousand Splendid Sums

Finally, the mortgage company give the go ahead. They have, much to my surprise, and I suspect theirs, revised their decision and agree that not much work needs to be done on the house to make it habitable... yes, really!

Leak House

Ah. So not only have I proved, in trying to buy the hovel, that the building inspectors have no clue about how to look at a building, and pest inspectors appear to make it up on the spot, so too do the mortgage company. The builders have gone in, and quoted a grand total of $1150 to do all the work needed. It’s better than a slap on the face with a blunt fish.

The Sale of Two Cities

The Valuation comes in on the nose, of exactly – to the penny – what our offer has been accepted at. However, woe is me when it comes to the best and building. According to the mortgage company we need at least AU$100,000k to proceed, and a full schedule of works, to rebuild the place. The chance of buying the old farm house is vanishingly small. I’ve called up a bunch of builders to give me quotes. It’s not the despair I can’t stand, in trying to buy this place – it’s the hope! Mind you, with this bank, I feel like I’m barking into the wind.

A tale of two pits

I have the building & pest report – and it’s like the tale of two buildings. Totally separate buildings that only happen to be remotely on the same continent. I mean, just look at this. Compare and contrast, if you will, the difference between the report I’ve paid for, and the one the previous purchaser paid for:

Roof:

Report1: The Roof is in a very poor state of repair, and will likely need total replacement, including that of the supporting beams.

Report2: There are no obvious leaks, and the roof appears sound.

Walls:

Report1: The walls are made of timber, which is likely to be much more solid than that of modern buildings. There is no obvious termite damage or rot.

Report2: Severe dry rot is apparent in all the walls, and much of the weatherboarding needs replacement. The underlying structure may also need total reconstruction.

Kitchen:

Report 1: The kitchen is very old, and will require much work to bring it up to a modern standard. The stove appears to be on an extension lead, suggesting the building requires total rewiring.

Report 2: The kitchen has recently been renovated, and presents few issues.

Conclusion:

Report1: It is difficult to recommend this building as being mortgageable

Report2: Considerable costs may be incurred in making this building habitable, due to the heritage listing.

It’s the same for the pest. One report says there’s highly likely to be a major infestation, and discusses if any of the timber can be saved (unlikely). The other says that it couldn’t find any termites.

Now, I know the place is a bit of a pit, but the least you’d expect is that the inspectors would have a clue.

The moral of the story is: don’t bother getting a pest or building report: neither of them are worth the money, and quite frankly a building report is about as much use as a chocolate teapot.

Moby Duck

I’ve been busy lining up my ducks, ready to shoot them. The Building, pest & valuer have gone in, and now it’s just a question of sitting around waiting to see what they say. There is something rather calming about waiting to see what someone else makes of it all: if only because it’s all out of my hands.

The Remains of the Pay

I thought I didn’t have a house: now I do, again. Or at least a chance of getting one: the people who were going to buy it couldn’t get a mortgage: they didn’t realise that a heritage property needs a 25% deposit, and had to pull out. I only found out as I phoned the real estate agent on the fly to see if there was any chance of the buying pulling out, and amazingly, got the response I wanted! Now all that remains is to see if there is any chance I can get a mortgage. Easier said than done.